Mom Talk #18: This One is Safe to Assume

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for the introduction and index of the posts in this 31 Days series, click }here{

Dearest Children of Mine,

Have you ever tried to thread a needle when someone was watching?  It's nearly impossible.  Your hands shake, you can't see the eye of the needle, and every pass at it is completely wrong.  It's being watched - and not being able to help but think that you're being judged - that makes you self-conscious.

Today, I want to suggest an assumption that can relieve you of significant frustration as you relate to other people.  Normally, I'm a big fan of 'trust but verify', and 'assume nothing'.  However, I highly recommend this one exception:

Really, you have no idea what's happening in all the arenas of anyone else's life, and you can't know what difficulties they face.  Assuming everyone is doing their best moves your heart away from judgment and toward acceptance.  It's the opposite of being critical and judgmental.  Judgment makes people self-conscious and keeps them bound to failure.  Assuming they're doing their best sets them free to do better and sets you free from the exhausting tyranny of judgment.  And it lets you move along.  

While you're assuming that everyone is doing their best ... don't forget that "everyone" includes yourself, and that may be the best place to start.  We all have expectations of ourselves, and often those expectations are straight up perfection.  Sometimes you do the best you can, and it isn't perfect.  But you've done the best you can, and that's good enough.  Training yourself to respond to your own failures with this kind of grace sets you up to extend the same to others.

Choosing to believe everyone is doing their best has its foundation in unconditional love, which offers a firm foundation, and freedom to improve, freedom to change and freedom to do it better next time.  It's a safe assumption.  

Tomorrow, I will teach you the word that magically fends off getting caught up in the judgment/criticism briarpatch and keeps you in the wide open spaces of grace.

 for the introduction and index of the posts in this 31 Days series, click }here{

thanks for reading!