Mom Talk #14: Be Generous

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for the introduction and index of the posts in this 31 Days series, click }here{

Dearest Children of Mine,

We've talked about important qualities to look for in a potential husband or wife }here{ and }here{ and discussed how influential family is }here{.  If you're weary of all this love and marriage stuff, just let me get these last few posts about relationships out, and then we'll move on to things like dirty laundry ... won't that be fun?

Today I want to encourage you to be generous in your relationships, especially when you marry.

(image source - a great Entrepreneur article entitled How to Get Ahead by Being Generous)

I have a friend (let's call her Jessie) whose husband (we'll call him Rudy) loved to hunt.  Rudy loved to hunt like crazy, all out, loved-to-spend-days-and-days-in-the-woods hunt.  Rudy welcomed Jessie on all his hunting trips, but she had no interest. Since she didn't share the same passion for pre-dawn rangings looking for wild animals, not to mention multiple days without a shower, hunting became a very sore subject for these two.

Years later I ran into Jessie and tentatively asked if Rudy was still an avid hunter.  He was, in fact, and Jessie seemed quite content with it.  "So what turned things around for you?" I asked.  "Well,"  Jessie said, "for a long time I pushed the point and made him feel bad every time he went hunting, and he stopped going as often.  But I was making us both miserable keeping him from doing something he loved to do.  I finally realized that when he's happy, I'm happy.  I decided that if hunting makes him happy, then it should make me happy.  Now, when he goes hunting, I plan something fun to do myself instead of stay home and be mad at him for enjoying something I don't like to do.  We make an event of it when he comes home, and we tell our adventures to each other.  Hunting has actually been very good for our marriage."

The thing about being generous in your marriage - and in any relationship, really - is that the generosity pours into the common pot, and everyone partakes.  Jessie's generosity made Rudy happy, and Rudy, being happy, looked for ways to make Jessie happy.  That follows the principle of reflection that I talked about }here{.  Make it a habit to be generous in your relationships.  When generosity begins, a cycle of good will flows that benefits everyone.

Next, we'll talk about fighting done fairly.

for the introduction and index of the posts in this 31 Days series, click }here{

thanks for reading!