Taking breaks ... it works for me!

Welcome to Day 19 of the 31 Days Series It Works for Me!

Again, I am reminded that this series is a refresher course for yours truly.  

Again, I am reminded that perhaps the title of the series might more appropriately be 

"Do As I Say ... Not As I Do!"

That's right.  Take a lesson from the JustB cats ... take a break.

I'm pretty sure that if LtDan ever reads the title of this post, he will laugh himself into the next century and I will be way behind on celebrating significant birthdays with him.
He's been telling me taking breaks is the better way for years.

We are off to Arkansas today.  To see LtDan's folks.  To take a little break.  

I've written about visiting their home before ... just thinking about it stills my soul.

My work style is like the Energizer Bunny.  I keep going.  And going.  And going.  

Until my batteries and me are completely depleted.  

But ever so, ever so slowly ... I'm realizing the value of taking a break.  

 If you're familiar with the Pomodoro technique, developed by Frances Cirillo, 

it's all about the power of taking a break.  

Use a timer, work for 25 minutes, then set it again for a 5 minute break.  

Taking breaks will help you focus more clearly.

Help you be more decisive.

Help you develop a sustainable pace.

Everybody knows taking breaks is best.  Even I know it from personal experience.  

So why don't I DO it?

Why We Stink At Taking Breaks

--by Karen Horneffer-Ginter, Original Story, Oct 06, 2012  

If I were to make up banners and flyers in support of the break movement, they'd have to speak to our tendencies to exhaust ourselves. They'd have to describe how easy it is to get lost in what we're doing and to continue on past a point that's really in our best interests, or even in the best interests of the project we're working on. Our doing, in and of itself, can create a desire for more doing, just as eating sugar creates a longing for more sugar, and getting irritated can cause us to escalate into more irritation. From this perspective, it's important that we practice taking breaks just to keep the habit fresh, so that we don't forget how to. Such practice offers a type of assurance that we'll have this skill set intact for when an opportunity arises to read a bedtime story to our child, or to notice the first blossoms of spring.  

(see the entire article here)

Ah ha ... there it is ... the significant why ... a glimpse of the person I want to be.

... not so busy that I don't stop to look at my sweetheart when he speaks to me ...

... not so busy that I don't pause to really laugh with my youngest when I demonstrate that 

sometimes the student understands the concepts better than the teacher.  

(Checking math by casting out 9's ... who knew??) ...

... not so busy that I don't slow down to watch a Youtube video with my daughter of 

a baby penguin laughing because it's being tickled ...

... not so busy that I don't wait a second before knocking on my son's door 

to listen to him play the guitar ...

... not so busy that I'm not inspired by the passion with which my son talks about 

his favorite video games ...

Not so busy that I don't stop ...

and count the blessings ...
and seize the joys.

Not so busy that I miss out on the sweetness and joy of this life.  

This is a reminder for me:  take a break ... it works!

Talk back ... it works for me!

Welcome to Day 18 of the 31 Days Series It Works for Me!

This may very well be the post where you say, "okay, this girl is loony."  

But I hope you don't leave.  I hope you at least stick around for the entertainment :o)

I'm not a proponent of being disrespectful.  Or smart-alecky.  

But do you ever have those times when someone takes up residence in your head,

saying tacky things and they just won't stop?  

Yes.  Like that. 

You know what I mean.

Your Great Aunt Gussie is coming for the holidays and you can't stop replaying 

how last Christmas she made no less than twelve comments

about how she hopes you'll learn to cook,

 because if you can't keep your house clean, 

you should at least be able to cook.  

Yes.  Like that.

Your brain is replaying the incident, maybe even making up new episodes, 

and she's in your head and will not stop.

Here's what to do:

Talk Back.  

Out Loud.

To Her.

The person in your head.

Here's your script:

You're not welcome here.  

GO AWAY.

It feels a little crazy at first.  You may have to say it more than once.  

But eventually, she'll recede and you can have some peace.  

The more you practice it, the more quickly it works. 

Because really, you're training your brain not to let that stuff go on in there. 

Talk back!  It works for me!

... the events, characters and snipes in this blog post are fictitious. 

Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental ...

Use Stories instead of Timers for Children ... it works for me!

Welcome to Day 17 of the 31 Days series It Works for Me!

When our kids were very small, I asked their grandparents, aunts and uncles to read and record some of their favorite stories onto cassette tapes.

I made a master tape with all the stories one after another 

and we used that tape for all kinds of things for many years.  

It got us through hundreds of miles on long road trips 

(back in my day, Missy, the minivans didn't have DVD players!), 

served as a favorite "nap time" playlist, 

and probably best of all, it worked as a timer.

We had a very large playroom, which was frequently strewn wall to wall with toys.  

Much fun, but also much to pick up.  When it was time to pick up the toys, it would take the kids FOREVER.  

I introduced the timer.  

Five minutes!  You have five minutes to pick up the toys!

And the timer would ding.

And three toys would have been put away.  

Children have no sense of urgency.  

They have no sense of time.

They just want to play.

Sigh.

So, I started using the story tape.  They had one story to get all the toys put away.  

These stories they knew very well.  So they knew when the end was fast approaching.  

It was always cute to see their pace pick up as the story came to and end.  

But you know what?  

They got the job done by the end of the story!

The tapes became an unanticipated treasure ... when we made them, I wasn't thinking about preserving the voices of very special people for posterity.  

But my 95 year old Aunt Gladys reading "The Tale of Benjamin Bunny" 

and my mom reading "The Story About Ping" 

are warm and real voices from the past,

 and priceless to me now.  

In reading one of the stories, we made the recording while my mom actually read out loud to the kids.

Right in the middle of the story, Benjamin, who was about four at the time, said, 

"Mom?  Could you get me some tea?"  

The perfectionist in me was vastly annoyed that he had "messed up" the recording ... 

but now, that sweet request in that small voice is one of my most favorite parts.  

My children are older now and the charm of the story tape doesn't quite hold the same power ... 

but for a time, it most definitely worked for me!

Do 10th Birthdays Up Big ... it works for me!

Welcome to Day 16 in the 31 Days Series It Works for Me!

(image source)

One of my favorite books is Sarah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance.  It's such a great daily read to help you focus on mindful appreciation of blessings in the everyday.  

Sarah upholds the tenth year of life as the year when you are closest to your authentic self.  

The purest form of you:  before the world comes along and tells you that you can't ... 

before your dreams get a little air knocked out of them ... 

before your opinions are significantly influenced by who's around you.  

When you know what you know.  

When you know what you're about.  

When you suck the joy out of every day and life's pleasure runs deep.  

'Try to travel back in time and imagination. 

See yourself at ten: at home, at school, and at play. 

Where did you live? 

Can you see your house or apartment, and the street? 

Walk through the rooms in your childhood home. 

What did you bedroom look like? 

Who were your friends? 

Did you have a best pal? 

What was your favourite colour in the crayola pack? 

Did you play a musical instrument? 

Can you recall the scent of Play-Doh? 

What were your favourite foods? 

What subject did you like in the fifth grade? 

Can you recall yourself at ten?" 

Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach

I love the sentiment, and I wanted to put a marker in each of my children's lives 

so they could remember with clarity, 

"that's what it was like to be TEN ... to be so much ME."  

So, LtDan and I devised a plan to take each of our kids on a very special trip for their 10th birthday,

just Dad and Son, or Mom (and Aunt!) and Daughter.  

It was SO much fun to plan the trip in secret, and devise a crazy way to reveal the details.  

On Ben's birthday, LtDan took him to San Antonio.  

They flew in for the weekend, and spent the day at Schlitterbahn, a massive water park.  

Now, as fate would have it, not only did Ben and Dad bond over a fantastic time at the water park, they also bonded over a 24 hour stomach virus.  LtDan showed Ben how to have a good time but also take care of yourself when you're sick and away from home.  

Good times :o)

Nathan, our resident musician and music lover, flew with LtDan to TampaBay to see 

a NewsBoys Concert.  That was Nate's first concert and he LOVED it.  They had (nearly) front row seats, and he and LtDan were hoarse from singing along.  

The Newsboys are an awesome Christian Band ... such great music with catchy lyrics 

and packing a message for Christ.

Abbie's 10th came next, and she and I flew to California to spend a weekend with my sister, who is not only Abbie's aunt, but shares the same birthday.  

Sandy and I took Abbie to lunch at the American Girl Bistro, and then spent a day at Disneyland.  

Let me just say ... if you haven't been to Disneyland as an adult, you should go.  

It is really and truly a happy, happy place.  

We had an absolutely magical time! 

LtDan took Aaron to the Great Wolf Lodge in Grapevine, Texas, for the weekend of his 10th, and Aaron was kind enough to share the fun and invite his siblings to spend the day with him at the indoor water park and also let us stay for dinner with him.  The water is Aaron's happy place.  He LOVED it.

The Great Wolf is a really fun, family friendly place.

All our kids look back on their 10th Birthday Trips with great fondness, and we do, too.  I never want them to lose sight of what it was like to be ten.  

When I was ten, I loved riding my bike, roaming around outside barefoot, climbing trees, and reading.  

What about you?  Do you remember your ten year old self?

Doing up the 10th birthdays big ... it works for me!

Exercise ... it works for me!

Welcome to Day 15 of the 31 Days series It Works for Me!

First, I must acknowledge that it is absolutely, totally, and completely absurd for this topic to be written by yours truly.  

I've never been an exerciser.  I tolerated aerobics.  I pretended to like raquetball.   

I always thought that people who said exercise made them feel better were lying.  

I mean ... really.

But last year I decided to take a 30 minute walk at least five days a week.  I learned that keeping my heart rate up for 20+ minutes made me feel the best.  
I even carried handweights.  

I even ran some.  

(source:  somewhere on pinterest)

I wish I could tell you I lost lots of weight.  I cannot tell a lie.  So I won't.

However ... amazingly enough, I rather became addicted to exercise.  I didn't want to skip out on my morning walk, and I began to feel the benefits of exercise that other people talk about:

- I had more energy

- I had more creative energy 

- I felt better

- I felt better about myself  

Then I saw a snake and that's apparently the cure for exercise addiction.  

I took the summer off.  

But now that it's cooler, I'm walking again.  

Never mind that I saw a frog just yesterday and if frogs are out, 

the snakes are probably out, too.  It has to be hot for snakes.  

That's what I'm telling myself.  Please don't argue with me.

If you've never been a believer,  just try it for a month.  

You'll see!  Those people are  not lying!!

Exercise ... it works for me!

Celebrate your Mom ... it works for me!

Welcome to Day 14 of the 31 Days series It Works for Me!

(this was so much on my heart yesterday ... 

so I'm writing it on the 15th but dating it October 14 ... shhh!  don't tell!)

The 31 Days of Blogging Challenge ... is a challenge ... dear me!  

But I'm enjoying it thoroughly.  If you have not checked out The Nester's list of 31 Day bloggers, please do, there are so many excellent bloggers offering excellent content.  

Yesterday would have been my Mom's 86th birthday.  She made a surprise exit from this life 11 years ago.  In many ways that seems like yesterday, and in many ways it seems a lifetime ago.  

Losing a mother is a journey most people walk through in life.  It's my hope that God blessed you with a loving mother like He did me.  I can tell you for certain that no matter how many times you've expressed appreciation to your mother, when she's gone, it will not have been nearly enough.   

The sadness for losing her, and the sadness that she hasn't been here to participate in the last decade of my life is a constant current.  Sometimes it's a strong current, sometimes it's just a ripple, but it's always there.  

Before grief and I became familiars, 

I thought it would eventually go away, but it doesn't.  

It endures.  

But more importantly, the love also endures, and it's the current of love that's strongest.

 "All I can do is love her, and love the world, 

emulate her by living with daring and spirit and joy.” 

― Jandy Nelson, The Sky Is Everywhere

Please allow me to celebrate my Mom with you here today and 

share the ways I wish to celebrate and emulate her:

-  She had the ability to turn strangers into dear friends with shocking speed.  I'm pretty sure this was her superpower.  When she and Dad would travel, she would come home every single time saying, "We met the nicest people!!!"  We teased her that nicest people seemed to be following her around everywhere she went.  But actually what happened is that she brought out the nicest in people because she herself was one of the nicest.  

-  She possessed a gracious talent for entertaining and cooking.  My mom loved nothing more than gathering friends and family from near and far and cooking for them.  She reveled in the details, the menu, and getting everything just right.  And then when the company began to pour in, she glowed with delight and love and pleasure.

-  She lived every day with the tendency to believe the best about the people she loved.  Sometimes this required just flat out overlooking the unlovely.  And in classic motherly fashion, she always believed if her children were involved in anything, they were certainly the very best at it.  

I believe one of our greatest pleasures in Heaven 

will be to know each other outside our earthly limitations.  

Until then, I celebrate the lovely things about my Mom 

as an antidote for grief ... it works for me!

A little advice from the military ... it works for me!

Welcome to Day 13 of the 31 Days Series It Works for Me!

I'm pretty sure every mom could use some excellent advice from the military.  

(image source)

This bit gets me through those moments when 84,000 things need to be done at once.  

It's simple but  profound.  

Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.

Next time you're in a hurry, slow down just a little bit and concentrate on 

precision rather than rushing.  

It works for me!

Many thanks to my brother Stan for his service to our great country 

and for passing along this excellent  philosophy.