LtDan gave me a tremendously thoughtful Christmas gift.
Nothing.
Two days of it,
at our favorite
hotel,
just me, myself, and I.
I know the
exact moment he had the inspiration.
We were
sitting in the family room together,
and I could feel him looking at me with
great concentration.
He was trying to decide
what to give me for Christmas,
and I’m sure that my weary, worn out countenance
and an angel on his shoulder
told him what gift would be appreciated more than anything.
Nothing!
One of the reasons I was yearning for nothing was just for the sake of
a break.
But because of how I’m wired, part
of my desire for nothing had to do with needing to pause
for a minute, contemplate,
plan, aspire and resolve for the new year.
And so I did.
I
looked back over 2012,
which was a very full and happy year for us
and also for those
near and dear to us.
There was much to
celebrate, and much to be thankful for.
Two weekends in particular stood out to me, however.
These were weekends that we did nothing.
No one came over, we went nowhere,
and I
spent a good part of those weekends working on things
that had been on my to-do
list so long they were chiseled on a stone tablet.
I
remember these weekends because they were out of the ordinary …
and because
when the second one came along, I realized something:
nothing feeds my soul.
Have you ever taken one of those Spiritual Gifts tests,
where they help you identify
what you’re good at, where your gifts are?
It seemed to me kind of obvious information
when I took the test.
Now, however, I
see that having an idea of the variety of strengths we have can be helpful,
because sometimes our gifts compete for our focus.
We’re interesting balls of wax, we
humans.
God gives us strengths that when
tuned and balanced rightly,
there’s great joy.
Life is rich.
We shine.
One of my favorite bosses was a pistol.
She was smart, she was beautiful, she was
funny, she was super confident.
She was
fun to work for, and she was never afraid to diplomatically tell it like it is,
usually with a great illustration so you could remember it.
Take, for instance, the volume knob on a stereo.
(Do people even have stereos these days?)
Volume is a good thing.
Turn it
up, and everyone can hear the music.
The
melody comes out, the bass line hums, the rhythm pops, the room is filled with
music.
But turn the volume up too much,
and the sound is distorted,
the speakers buzz,
the walls shake,
and no one can
hear anything else.
Or the neighbors call the sheriff because your music is too loud.
That can happen too.
Twenty plus years later, I still think of Barb when I get
myself into trouble.
It’s because of her
volume illustration.
She was talking
about one of my strengths: taking responsibility …
who? Me? awww,
shucks!!!
and how like any great thing, when you turn it
up too much,
it’s no longer a great thing – it’s too much.
Awww … shucks.
One of my gifts is hospitality … I have always loved to throw parties.
I love to have people
over.
It feeds my soul.
One of my dear cousins has a similar gifting.
She also has the gift of frank and humorous honesty.
And so as she expressed appreciation for our
hospitality at a family gathering, she said,
“so how was pulling it all
together today?
I always found that
having a party was good for at least one pre-party melt-down.”
It was a relief to know I am not alone.
Because more often than I’d like to admit,
having a party can be good for one pre-party deep blue funk
that doesn’t end
until the first guests pull through the gate.
Hospitality turned up too high … and I am worn thin.
Impatient with my family.
Unkind.
Joyless.
And not the generous
hostess I would like to be.
One of my other strengths is organization.
[I really hope the people who looked in the
closet under the stairs at our New Years Eve party never read my blog.]
A friend of mine explained to me once why she
loves her job as an accountant:
when she
puts the numbers down and they all add up, it makes her feel good; it’s
soothing.
I’m not so much an organizer
on the accounting side of life,
but let me organize the pantry, put together a
new chore list, clean out the laundry room,
make a new schedule, and yes, it
makes me feel good!
When my hospitality is turned on high and takes up more
space in my life than it should,
I get off balance, disorganized and unhappy.
Turned up to too high, the dark side of my
gift of organization looks a whole lot like perfectionism,
and I can’t. stop. working.
Ay, caramba!
These
gifts balance each other out!!
God hasn't given me these two gifts to drive me crazy after all ...
because after the guests arrive, it’s all good.
I know things are as good as they’re going to get,
the pressure to get it all done disburses
and it’s on to having fun and the festivities.
In my grand and glorious Weekend of Nothing, I did nothing,
but I also contemplated and organized my thoughts. And I resolved to better balance of the
gifts.
In the height of our holiday festivities, our hospitality wasn't just for fun,
it was a necessity, because we actually had a white
Christmas,
and some of our guests were literally stranded.
And they were gracious and thoughtful
but I
was already worn thin
and it showed.
And I kept remembering Proverbs 24: 10:
If you
falter in a time of trouble,
how small is your strength!
My Holiday 2012 translation:
If your hospitality isn’t genuine in time of real need,
what good is
your gift?
God didn’t leave me there with just a smack down though.
He gave the answer to my problem in verses 3,
4, and 5: By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are
filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
The wise prevail through great power,
and those who have knowledge muster their strength.
Before you prevail, you have to muster.
Muster means to “gather, summon or rouse”.
And now for me, it means you must engage in Nothing Weekends
so your organization gift can come out to play, too.
I had a lovely Weekend of Nothing on the first weekend of 2013.
But I invited LtDan to join me for day
two.
Because nothing loves company when
it’s had a little time to muster.
Happy New Year!
